july 6, 2001. I'm come to the conclusion that I'm a hopeless ninny. There really is no other explanation. I've held off having parties and gatherings in my home for years, mostly because I've been afraid that no one would show up (and if they did, I'd be sure to disappoint as a hostess). Last night put paid to a lot of those unspoken assumptions about myself. Everyone had a pretty great time, there was lots of good food, and the social mixing went better than could be reasonably expected. We had invited Miri & J to join us, which added just the right amount of non-education people. Poor Boy - if the two of them hadn't come, he would've been stuck among endless discussions of what was good & bad about last & what will be good & bad about this year. But they did come, and they shishkabobbed well and all was goodness. One of the fun things about hanging around Miri & J is that they have a charming sense of irresponsibility; instead of leaving at a sensible time, they stuck around to chat, look at pictures, talk music and get intoxicated. It was very relaxing for me, as I'd spent most of the evening in a state of hyper-awareness trying to cater to my guests (and also trying to minimize the fact that my face was a spewing spigot of germs by washing my hand obsessively). Kicking back with Miri & J meant that I could sneeze without cringing and blow my nose unapologetically. Small things, but they mean a lot when you're ill. By the end of the evening we were drinking G&T and listening to Luther Wright & the Wrongs' version of 'The Wall.' In a way it was very highschool. Sometimes these things hold up with age. Today I left work early. I've spent the evening trying to convince the Boy that his wedding vows were very clear about the right choice to make when you've been invited to a jam and your wife's sick. It's uphill work; he's being very sulky & martyrish tonight. Oh well. He's having a rough time of it this summer; his new schedule means that he spends at least one night a week away from home, which is stressful for the both of us. Last night he came straight home from a night in Yarmouth into a dinner party - one assumes that a small bit of crankiness is normal under the circumstances. this time 2 years ago: still having a ridiculously good time