april 6, 2001. Yesterday sucked from stem to stern. I didn't have the heart to write about it when it was still a live concern (so to speak), but I can give a summary of the krep: 7:55 a.m. - dancing around, making a sandwich to the soundtrack of Suede's "Killing of a Flash Boy." I get excited at the buildup before the last chorus, attempt a punctuational high kick…and rip the seam of my brand-new knee length office skirt. 8:00-8:55 a.m. - listening to a peer talk about her "man troubles," all of which amount to a total lack of respect on his part. It took 10 minutes to come to this conclusion but the litany of woe continued for a full hour. 11:00-12:00 a.m. - handing back assignments to a class all-too-eager to compare marks. The girl with 6 out of 10 is furious with me. When she confronts me after class, I become intimidated by her anger and bump her up to an 8 (excusing my collapse by saying to myself that at least she understood the point of the exercise). I walked into the staff room after that class and flung myself onto the institutional couch. "That's it," I announced to the largely unsympathetic group. "I've given up on teaching. I'll just get into the undemanding life of the receptionist." The school receptionist snorted. Of course, that's an exaggeration. I didn't really want to quit; I didn't even cry like last semester. In fact, this class was only slightly worse than the best class last semester. Still, I wasn't happy. 'I bet my supervisor will show up for a surprise supervision tomorrow,' I thought morosely. 'That would make my week complete.' Guess who showed up second period with no warning? Luckily I had just taught a double period, and having already shot my teaching wad (so to speak) there was nothing he could do but schedule a supervision for Monday. And thus his evil was thwarted. He also plans to supervise Petra that day, even though it'll be her first day back after a weeklong date with sinus and throat infections. That's just not fair at all. But today was rather good despite this visit, and even the small thwarting raised my spirits. My class went quite well today, although they seem to have decided collectively that if I don't let them shout out rude comments that they'll imitate log bumps. I got frustrated a couple of times, leading to my trademark flashes of not-quite-sarcasm that has begun to plague my evaluations. I'm sorry, but if my supervisors are down to criticizing me when a few students might possibly construe my words as a trifle insulting…well, big goddamn deal. I think a room full of 17- & 18-year-old who refuse to define the word dream need a tiny kick in the ass. But that's just my hang up I guess. My only problem lately is a dearth of material. I teach 80-minute periods, and I need a variety of activities to keep these kids happy and on track. I don't want to push through the book; that makes the whole thing seem like penance. But I don't want to give 20 minutes over to social time. I'm still trying to work it out for myself. Today I broke up the monotony with a group exercise in which they read brief biographies of saints and decided on 3 spheres of patronage. My favorite was the group who decided that their saint was the patron saint of the WWF, because he "often wrestled with the Devil." You can't buy moments like that - even when you're a receptionist. I still haven't decided what to do about the kitten. I really shouldn't defer this decision, but I can't get my mind in gear about the problem. I don't relish lying to my parents for years (because they would find the idea of adopting another cat after the discovery of cat allergies unacceptable). On the other hand, the thought of leaving things as they are and waiting for Ceilidh to die doesn't make me happy. We'll stop by the shelter tomorrow. Maybe the smell of caged cats will help me to make up my mind.