march 18, 2001. Today I got dressed up to the nines for church because it was my day to read scripture from the podium. It didn't make all that much of a difference because my voluminous blue choir robe covered me to the knees anyway, but it was a psychological edge. I needed it: I had no idea that I was to provide my own text until a half-hour before the service. I ended up snatching a Gideon's Bible from the Sunday School shelf of defunct books and going with the good old King James version. Ah, King James. No longer used in my mainstream, inclusive language faith. It's funny how circumstances have made me a bit of a shit disturber for reading Shakespearean English. But I am the girl who managed to seriously piss off a non-profit Medieval theatre group. The minister reported later that many people commented favourably on my reading, "as a change of pace." They were, of course, the older congregation, the ones who seriously wonder why we can't sing "Praise Him above ye heavenly host" any more. I myself don't wonder; I just sing the archaic sexist original and wait to be challenged. Cause yeah - I'm a football brawler in a choirgirl gown. During our weekly period of extreme Sunday night teevee sloth, we were encouraged to "stay tuned for a classic Simpsons." Ahem. Let's be straight here. It's a rerun. We all know it's a rerun. Let's just call it a fucking rerun because this classic euphemism insults us both. If I'm promised a classic episode of the Simpsons, it better be the Monorail. Or Mindy. Which made me think about the awkward way pop culture persists when it's consistently popular. I've seen that Mindy episode with 3 distinct friendship groups over the last 7 years, mostly consisting of people that I don't want to see ever again. When do I stop hearing Alexi's sidebar comments in my head? When do I get to recast the experience in a way that fits my life as I'm living it right now? And why do I fucking care? God, I've done nothing but whine this whole Andy Rooney-esque weekend. I'm going to bed & putting myself out of your misery.