Weird Things [You Read] When You're Pregnant
part 4
Today I learned from Hectate that I needn't worry about sleeping strictly on my side. The books are full of dire pronouncements that sleeping on your front squashes the baby and sleeping on your back cuts off blood flow to the baby - so sleep on your side, goddamn it! Hectate said that if the blood flow to the baby is threatened, it will also be threatened to all my major organs, and even if I'm asleep, my body will move to correct the problem.
This is a relief. I have a small list of Things I Do Which Make Me
an Incompetant Pregnant Mother; it includes in part -
- going to smoky bars and concerts
- riding in cars with smokers
- eating Brie
- drinking a can of Diet Coke a day (I've tried to cut down, believe me) and
- sleeping on my stomach
Now I get to scratch the sleep one off and add - eating too much ice cream and not enough vegetables
Well, at least I'm not wearing corsets and freebasing cocaine.
I heard the baby's heartbeat again; this time it was much easier to locate. Less than 3 seconds with the Doppler and Hectate had located the mad oompa-oompa sound that the Sprout grooves to. I imagine a tiny polka band down there, complete with accordion player. Then again, I do have an Industrial Baby - for all I know, the oompa-oompa is the sound of cybergoth darkwave. Perish the thought!
I feel like a big hot slug. Today marks the first really hot day Toronto has seen this year, and Mount Olympus is not doing well. And I, kept up very late by a Nick Cave concert last night, am not doing too well myself. So I'm going to set up the fan, heave my sweaty pregnant body into bed, and gleefully dive into the latest Harry Potter book. I've been waiting for this night for years. It's been too long in coming, man.
